In our youth obsessed culture we don’t talk much about death even though it is something 100% of us face. Many of us die in hospitals or nursing homes, removed from view. Even the word “death” is sanitized. Instead of saying someone has died, we say that person has “passed away” or “departed.” As a result of our avoidance and discomfort with the subject, we are often profoundly unprepared to aid people we love when they are grieving the death of a loved one. Here are some things to keep in mind. (more…)
I was standing in a checkout line when I heard a man talking loudly on his cell phone. “Remind me never to come shopping with my mother again!” he was complaining to his hapless listener. I looked around and saw the elderly woman who was the subject of his diatribe. She was moving slowly and dawdling over her selections as he stood scowling and impatiently tapping his foot. I felt a rush of compassion for her and hoped she hadn’t heard his boorish comments. I wondered what he had to do that was so important and thought how much I would give to have the chance to go shopping with my mother again. (more…)
Her finger had not yet turned blue, but the threat was real and it throbbed in a constant, haunting echo saying “lose the ring, lose the ring.”
I had a relative who divorced his wife after more than 60 years of marriage. We all knew they’d been emotionally separated for years but I thought a divorce that late in the game was an odd move to make. Turns out I was wrong—it isn’t unusual at all. Baby boomers are ending their marriages in record numbers. (more…)
Anxiety has become the most prevalent mental health condition in the United States today, a fact that should come as no surprise. We live in a climate of fear-mongering. We are inundated with negative news round the clock and it seems the more bizarre or bloody the story the more the media focuses on it. Currently we have the added spectacle of political campaigns where our “leaders” display appallingly bad behavior while each endeavors to convince us he or she is the one who can save us from collective doom. Sigh.
With so much negativity it is easy to forget there is good in the world. How do we fight back against this climate of fear? By practicing gratitude. (more…)
My husband and I were woefully unprepared for his retirement. Our focus was on our finances and it never even occurred to us what else we would face. We had talked about him leaving his job for a long while. We had run the numbers, talked to advisors and thought we were ready to take the plunge but we completely missed the dangers lying just below the surface. We treaded some rough waters before we got on solid ground again but other couples I’ve known have found themselves in seriously deep trouble and some of them haven’t survived intact. I want to give you some relationship life preservers to help you avoid that fate. (more…)
Having a shared vision is the door to harmony and communication is the key. If you haven’t broached the subject of retirement lifestyle with your significant other, here are some tips that may help: